Aug 29

Kisii Itibo Resort and Conference Center

Kisii Itibo Resort and Conference Center

Located Off Kisii-Migori Road

Tel: 0722 408 146 , 0734 765 432 , 0722 765 432

Email: itiboresort@gmail.com Website: www.itiboresort.com

Technorati Tags: , ,

Related Posts:

Aug 29

Top 30 Crazy Facebook Status Updates 2014

Top 30 Crazy Facebook Status Updates 2014

  1.  I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday 22% Tuesday 26% Wednesday 35% Thursday 4% Friday.
  2. Are you thinking what I’m thinking that I think that you’re thinking I’m thinking, because if you think that I think what I think I’m thinking then we’ve got a problem.
  3. In a few years priests will say, ‘You may now change your relationship status to husband and wife.’
  4. If you have someone following you that is ugly, they are a stalker. If the person is hot, they are your secret admirer.
  5. My girlfriend told me she wanted me to surprise her with a gift that will take her breath away. I’m thinking about getting her a treadmill.
  6. If you want people to know where you stand, wear the same socks for a week.
  7. Why do people in Horror Movies yell out “Hello?” as if the killer is gonna say “yeah, I’m in the kitchen, want a sandwich?”
  8. You had me at 0 mutual friends.
  9. I could actually watch golf on TV if Land Mines were involved.
  10. If a man says you’re ugly he’s being mean. If a woman says you’re ugly she’s envious. If a little kid says you’re ugly, you’re ugly.
  11. In grade school it’s called bullying but when you get older it’s referred to as upper level management.
  12. Creepy: People who request middle seats on airplanes.
  13. Why would a straight guy hate gay guys? Here’s a group of men who look better than you.. but don’t even want women. You should be glad.
  14. Whenever I start to hate my job I think about the camera crew who has to follow the Kardashian’s 24/7.
  15. I love how people say they’re expecting a baby as though it may be something else. Like a penguin, lawn mower or a large one topping pizza.
  16. The most frightening thing about nightmares is realizing that they were created by your mind.
  17. Yes Officer, I carry a knife, but that’s just in case I find a cake.
  18. At a wedding where the minister told everyone to stand next to the person who makes life worth living. The bartender was almost trampled.
  19. Being a Zombie doesn’t sound that bad. You don’t have a job and your entire day is spent looking for things to eat. Shit, I do that now.
  20. I’m at my best mathematically when I wake up before the time my alarm is set for
  21. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance… The five stages of waking up.
  22. I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.
  23. At the end of the day, life should ask us, ‘Do you want to save the changes?’
  24. Twitter is proof enough that people should not be allowed to name themselves.
  25. Mosquitos are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.
  26. When I die, before my will is read, I want my entire Google search history revealed and whoever is left in the room gets it all.
  27. Caller ID should be more detailed~ “Wants Help Moving” “Going to Whine” “Will Ask to Borrow Money
  28. Whenever someone spells something wrong, I always look to see if the two letters are close on the keyboard.
  29. I’d like to eat healthy, but we all know what happened that time Eve ate an apple. Best not to risk it.
  30. “Everything you say can and will be used against you” should be included in marriage vows.

Technorati Tags: ,

Related Posts: